Skip the Mortgage opt for the Reverse Marriage
As reverse mortgages are becoming more and more common as a finance (lifestyle adjustment) tool, I began to revert back to my days as an undergraduate at UCLA. While I snoozed through many a lab and discussion course I do recall that in my “Sociology of the Family” course our professor discussed study after study of the decline of the American family in general and the American marriage in particular. While this is not the topic of this commentary, it got me to thinking; Could the American marriage be saved with a reverse marriage?
The set up:
With a reverse mortgage, the applicant must meet certain criteria, such as being 62 years or older and have a significant accumulation of home equity in order to qualify. For the instance of the reverse marriage, we will say that all couples older than 25 that desire to be married are eligible. So how would a reverse marriage work? For the sake of this experiment lets assume the average marriage last 15 years. At the end of the 15 years, the couple would separate and become single again, in their mid 40’s to 50’s.:
Years 1-5
- Love making would be minimal usually once per week.
- Relations with in-laws would be a lot more tolerable from the first day, as each spouse realizes that many of their familial nemesis has only a few years to live.
- Rejoice! As time went forward, the beer belly/mommy tummys would slowly morph into a high school “hey days.”
- As each spouse has a grasp on the other’s taste bud’s each meal would be highly enjoyable. “No taco surprise experiments”.
- Separate beds, closets and toilets highlight the home arrangement.
Years 6-10
- As each spouse’s body began to improve, sexual encounters become more common, now at “2x” per week.
- Family get togethers are a treat considering that each get together could be their in-laws last.
- Separate bedrooms highlight the home arrangement.
- Watching football and soap operas are easier to do because each spouse has built in knowledge of the other’s TV preferences.
Years 11-15
- Children begin to pay “real” dividends about the same time you start eyeing that post marriage convertible.
- Separate homes highlights the home arrangement.
- Love making has increased to a rabid pace of 3x per week.
- Bikinis and Speedos are highlights of the summer vacation.
- In-law funeral attendance becomes a common excuse for missing work.
- Divorce rates, plummet to an all time low.
Written by charles dennis on May 31st, 2007 with
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